E.L. James Follows Up Bestseller with ‘Grey’
The First Page of E.L. James's GREY pic.twitter.com/6ZMrx2HFA0
— Publishers Weekly (@PublishersWkly) June 18, 2015
As a writer, I’m sick to my stomach at how seemingly terrible ‘Grey’ is. I mean, this is some of the laziest writing and dialogue I have ever seen, and that’s including short stories I’ve read by elementary school children.
However, as a person who likes money, I’m impressed. Yes, the writing is disgustingly poor. But you know what? If I could fill a swimming pool full of money and buy whatever I want, I’d phone in my next book too. Who has time for writing when you can literally buy whatever you want? Hustling over writing, baby.
I imagine James’ thought process goes something like this:
“Ok, the publishers need to see the next 100 pages by tomorrow. What should I do? Oh, I got it! I’ll just put on PornHub and run through some really hardcore stuff for ideas. If that doesn’t work I’ll just have one of the maids write this thing up.”
Check out some of the Pulitzer prize winning writing below:
This book is the worst. I'm so sorry. #Grey pic.twitter.com/KiQ3qFJ7Sg
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) June 18, 2015
'And she's pissed at me: maybe she has PMS.'
Yeah, that's it Christian. Definitely. #Grey
— lucyinglis (@lucyinglis) June 18, 2015
"He suddenly awoke, and thought to himself: I want to insert my P into her V." – #Grey
— Emma Gannon (@girllostincity) June 18, 2015
And here’s the winner….
"IS MUSIC TO MY DICK." #Grey pic.twitter.com/mde6XP4CJO
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) June 18, 2015