Confession time: I never really got into Flappy Bird while it was still alive. For a few days there, Flappy Bird was the only thing any of my casual gaming friends would talk about; now that Dong Nguyen has pulled it from the App Store, though, there’s been something akin to a feeding frenzy on tap-to-fly games on iTunes and the Play Store, with legions of Flappy Bird clones uploaded all the time. They’re all missing one thing, though: catchy Internet memes. All but one, that is.
“Dumpy Doge: The Adventure of 1Tough Flying Dog” is a new game by Tom Jones, who has reskinned Flappy Bird so that instead of a portly duck, you play as a disembodied shiba inu head with a tail sticking out of its neck. Sounds horrifying, but it’s pretty adorable, really. The controls are exactly the same as Flappy Bird (tap to fly higher, don’t tap to fall lower, dodge pipes, try not to die), but some aspects are a little harder. For one thing, it’s much more difficult to get altitude, possibly because dogs are not flight-prone creatures in nature. The screen also scrolls a bit faster than in Flappy Bird, so you’ll need quick reflexes. For all intents and purposes, though, it’s basically the same game–but in case you get stuck or frustrated, here are a few hints to help you on your way through the retro skies.
Dumpy Doge Hint #1
- Gaze into your doge’s eyes. Or at least, stare at the little black dots that are its pupils.
- As you look into the doge, the doge looks into you also. Quietly whisper “wow” under your breath. You are ready.
Dumpy Doge Hint #2
- Consider how foolish a flying dog shaped like a hacky sack would look in real life.
- This doge is not foolish. It is a majestic creature that must be protected. Keep this in mind, but do not panic. You are doing sacred work.
Dumpy Doge Hint #3
- Be mindful of your lives. While cats have nine, dogs apparently have only three, so make them count!
- Much as in the old Mario games, your dog will flash for a while after being hit. This means you’re technically invulnerable. You may be able to use this to your advantage.
- Note that this is the only way in which Dumpy Doge resembles Mario. Do not attempt to enter the pipes in search of dogecoins. You will die.
Dumpy Doge Hint #4
- Tap the screen only when you want your dog to fly upwards. It’s tempting to pet that gleaming, pixelated fur, but try to resist its allure.
- Going up is much more simple than going down, because there’s no way to control the speed of your descent. If you have a choice, go up.
- With that in mind, be careful of the top of the screen. The sky can kill just as swiftly as the ground.
Dumpy Doge Hint #5
- Try to beat your high score! Dogs are highly competitive gamers and form social hierarchies based on points. You can see if you’re the alpha or omega by tapping “Score” on the start screen.
- If you begin to think you’ll never beat your (former) best friend’s score, try climbing onto your bed and turning around in a circle several times before taking a long nap. This “system reboot” usually helps.
Dumpy Doge Hint #6
- If the unblinking stare of your dog is beginning to feel unnerving, take a break and look at some hilarious doge memes. Laughter is the best medicine!
- Then go back to your game and look at your fat dog. You’re both on the same side. You both hate pipes. Make friends with your pup once more and go get ‘em!
Dumpy Doge Hint #7
- Although the soundtrack for this game is pretty sweet, you can’t turn off the sound effects without turning off the music–and those effects can be discouraging, driving home every life lost for your poor dog.
- We recommend putting on your favorite canine music instead and playing the game that way. Our top picks: Howlin’ Wolf, Temple of the Dog, and “Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow” by Frank Zappa.
