On Whisper, people can anonymously share their darkest secrets, awkward encounters, and horrifying opinions. Here are some of the people on Whisper who really know how to do life properly. Take notes.

1. These teachers are revolutionizing grading papers.

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2. This is just cruel.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f4f94c58bda27608028aabad6396eb522942/sometimes-when-my-husband-upsets-me---i-ll-deliberately-get-him-turned-on-before-bed--then-roll-over-and-go-to-sleep-
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3. Might be pulling on those sheets too hard, dear.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f44f01249ad5612501aab390165c4b3d8a94/i-just-gave-myself-a-bleeding-nose-from-pulling-my-blankets-up--accidentally-letting-go--then-punching-myself-in-the-face--
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4. I wish I thought of this the last 4 times my charger broke…

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f43138279d3c5377240dcebdaa6c69912f6f/my-macbook-s-charger-stopped-working-so-i-switched-it-with-my-housemate-s-and-let-him-have-to-buy-a-new-one--
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5. Well played.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f58943b1b2b3886387281d83653b485322e0/my-boss-told-me-she-loved-me-today--i-didn-t-know-what-to-say-so-i-awkwardly-said-it-back-then-walked-away-
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6. This guy clearly has life figured out.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f536b33cb741982465ed5ff1a889f36f8a97/i-draw-dicks-on-cars-that-are-parked-badly
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7. Statistically, this has happened to one in four people.*

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f580f6f05e3e40953454150762d13745b59f/i-have-4-roommates-and-dislike-them-all--one-also-stole-some-of-my-things--and-she-knows-my-schedule-but-always-insists-on-hogging-the-bathroom--i-m-scrubbing-the-toilet-with-her-toothbrush-right-now-
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*Some statistics may be imaginary.

8. I don’t know how this happened, but I think a prophecy is involved somehow.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f57122c7b1694646172f82dbe15e56062581/i-photobombed-a-random-person-last-summer-in-a-foreign-country--then-unknowingly-became-friends-with-him-months-later--then-i-got-this-text--
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9. I’m taking notes for the future.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f5622f62814a427530a88d8babdb185e16a1/i-pay-my-kids-to-clean-their-rooms---with-money-i-find-in-their-laundry-
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10. Imagine that: there’s a camera in the elevator.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f5530f2418629570902572510dcbed83bdf6/-last-week-i-took-a-pic-of-my-tits-in-the-elevator-when-leaving-my-friends-building--yesterday-i-noticed-the-camera-in-that-elevator----
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11. I can’t imagine how difficult that breakup was.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f58f802f1c8f542223162207bfa879061f37/i-don-t-date-guys-because-it-s-really-difficult-for-me-to-break-up-with-them----i-dated-my-last-boyfriend-for-6-years--it-took-me-5-years-to-end-it
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12. Genius.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f58b7a4c4ff492344445588c7b89888d4ca9/i-purposely-buy-food-my-boyfriend-doesn-t-like-so-i-don-t-have-to-share---
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13. How. How is this real life.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f58c34d2a3e2288930883c8a295f50d92476/earlier-today-i-pooped---didn-t-flush-the-toilet-when-my-boyfriend-saw-it-i-blamed-it-on-his-5-year-old-daughter-
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14. Uh, I think you might be straight.

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15. This guy just won life.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f5c3ff96d84a34631416508ec57ff5311816/my-girlfriend-doesn-t-know-i-ve-been-selling-my-things-to-buy-a-plane-ticket-for-her-to-visit-her-best-friend-for-her-birthday-
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16. I’ve always wanted to do this.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f5c512734fbb75199542e9fcd18ca332f4a3/i-like-to-go-to-hotels-in-the-morning-and-pretend-to-be-a-guest-so-i-can-get-a-free-breakfast--

17. It’s fun to laugh at other people’s pain and humiliation.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f5c759bdd7b875340012ff226bcdc79ae859/so-i-just-broke-my-nose-today----by-accidentally-dropping-an-ipad-mini-on-my-face-----fml--the-doctors-are-laughing---
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18. There’s going to be traffic anyway. Might as well be in bed for it.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f5ae2579d6b4699060efa73326fe423a981c/i-tell-my-boss-i-m-stuck-in-traffic-when-i-m-still-in-bed
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19. That moment in their eyes when you know what they’re picturing.

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f5878675415164081e06b5d3bd9573a9983/when-i-have-to-listen-to-a-boring-presenter-i-make-fuck-me-eyes-and-try-to-distract-them---makes-the-whole-presentation-more-interesting--
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20. It’s supposed to be good for you, right?

http://whisper.sh/whispers/04f59d7f27956781379971771d5e282c4427c7/i-was-tired-of-people-at-work-stealing-my-coffee-creamer-in-the-refrigerator--little-do-they-know-i-swapped-it-out-with-breast-milk--
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21. Um.

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When they’re not working or trying to escape a burning building, construction workers are usually thought of as misogynist creeps who hit on everything that walks by that has two legs and two of another thing. Of course, that’s a stereotype that doesn’t apply to all construction workers, but it did break ground (ahem) for this empowering(?) Snickers commercial.

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I just opened my inbox to the best spammy subject line I could imagine in my my wildest dreams:

harry-potter-school

Of course, I clicked on it immediately, and for one blissful moment I thought I might actually be an eleven-year-old wizard.

harry-potter-letter

This had to be the real thing — I mean, how did they get my email address unless I really were a wizard? Okay, so maybe I knew it was fake, but I still had to figure out how they found me. The email led me to this incredibly authentic Hogwarts website.

harry-potter-school-2

The site, “Hogwarts is Here,” is light on details, but it looks to be yet another failed Harry Potter RPG in the making, replete with a school newspaper, digital textbooks, and online classes taught by, in all likelihood, thirteen-year-olds.

Still, they deserve an A++ Check for effort. I hope it works out for them, because I just don’t have enough distractions.