Today, in the Crimean city of Sevastopol, the Ukrainian dolphin army was taken over by the Russian navy. Traditionally, these dolphins are used to detect enemy mines and scuba divers, as well as attack military targets when necessary. The media has focused a lot of attention on what this could mean for Ukraine and Russia, but virtually no one has pointed out how decisive this could be for the larger dolphin community.
And why would they? After all, they are just dolphins. Sweet, lovable, kid-friendly dolphins with funny fins and silly tails.
Dolphins are mindless killing machines with a thirst for blood, and this could be the big break they’ve been waiting for.
Don’t believe me?
THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?
Pistols! With scopes!
MOUNTED CHAIN GUNS. Financed by SeaWorld. This is where our tax dollars are going, people.
IS THAT A LASER?!
You bet your bottom dollar it is. This picture was taken seconds before a veritable massacre.
AND YET WE CONTINUE TO DO NOTHING
And their numbers continue to grow. More military dollars means more weapons, and more weapons means unprecedented levels of destruction the world over.
JUST LOOK AT THESE THINGS
How are we ok with this? When will we draw the line and say enough is enough? What will we do when they start to recruit others to their cause?
OH WAIT, THEY ALREADY DID.
Notice anything strange about the ocean? Perhaps its blood-red quality? That’s us, folks. This is our future. Unless we act now. Write to your congressmen. Call the newspapers. Spread the word. If we don’t do something soon, the dolphins certainly will.
SPREAD THE WORD: