We just got word this morning that King Games, makers of the absurdly popular match-3 game Candy Crush Saga, has publicly filed for an IPO in the United States. King filed confidentially last year, but now they’re totally public about, um, wanting to go public. There’s no question why King decided to try and cash in now; Candy Crush is one of the most popular mobile apps in the world, and King boasts almost 130 million users that will gladly shell out for extra lives, bombs, and lollipop hammers. They made over half a billion dollars in profit last year by selling pixels. Clearly, the time is ripe to get some shareholders in on the action.

But don’t cash in your life insurance to buy up shares right away. King still needs to get valued, and we don’t know how much the Securities and Exchange Commission will say they’re worth (though King execs will obviously try to convince them that the company is worth billions). And leaving that aside, let’s not forget that plenty of other casual gaming giants have risen and fallen in recent years. Just look at Zynga, who poisoned the minds of our nation’s parents back in 2009 with Farmville. They started trading at $10 two years later; in 2012, they could barely get $2. They’re on the rise again now, but that just shows you how fickle the market can be, especially when your specialty is convincing people to give you money so that they can play more repetitive puzzle games.

The deciding factor will be whether or not King can come up with something new for us to play on our commute, once we collectively look up from our smartphones and realize that we would rather eat real candies than destroy fake ones. They also make Farm Heroes Saga and Pet Rescue Saga, but these three games are honestly not so much “sagas” as they are “nearly endless color-matching games for instant gratification.” When those kinds of games make up 95% of your revenue, you’re on shaky ground. So we’ll need to wait and see if King’s creative department will come up with anything new before passing judgement on their IPO.

Of course, none of this sways the relentless optimism of the King execs, who reportedly plan to list on the New York Stock Exchance under the symbol “KING.” We’ll see, gentlemen. We’ll see.

For more information, including up-to-the-minute stock info, see the Wall Street Journal; for in-depth analysis on how Zynga’s “fancy schmancy real estate” might make it a better pick, you’ll want to visit Yahoo Finance.

Featured image via BusinessInsider

Confession time: I never really got into Flappy Bird while it was still alive. For a few days there, Flappy Bird was the only thing any of my casual gaming friends would talk about; now that Dong Nguyen has pulled it from the App Store, though, there’s been something akin to a feeding frenzy on tap-to-fly games on iTunes and the Play Store, with legions of Flappy Bird clones uploaded all the time. They’re all missing one thing, though: catchy Internet memes. All but one, that is.

“Dumpy Doge: The Adventure of 1Tough Flying Dog” is a new game by Tom Jones, who has reskinned Flappy Bird so that instead of a portly duck, you play as a disembodied shiba inu head with a tail sticking out of its neck. Sounds horrifying, but it’s pretty adorable, really. The controls are exactly the same as Flappy Bird (tap to fly higher, don’t tap to fall lower, dodge pipes, try not to die), but some aspects are a little harder. For one thing, it’s much more difficult to get altitude, possibly because dogs are not flight-prone creatures in nature. The screen also scrolls a bit faster than in Flappy Bird, so you’ll need quick reflexes. For all intents and purposes, though, it’s basically the same game–but in case you get stuck or frustrated, here are a few hints to help you on your way through the retro skies.

Dumpy Doge Hint #1

• Gaze into your doge’s eyes. Or at least, stare at the little black dots that are its pupils.
• As you look into the doge, the doge looks into you also. Quietly whisper “wow” under your breath. You are ready.

Dumpy Doge Hint #2

• Consider how foolish a flying dog shaped like a hacky sack would look in real life.
• This doge is not foolish. It is a majestic creature that must be protected. Keep this in mind, but do not panic. You are doing sacred work.

Dumpy Doge Hint #3

• Be mindful of your lives. While cats have nine, dogs apparently have only three, so make them count!
• Much as in the old Mario games, your dog will flash for a while after being hit. This means you’re technically invulnerable. You may be able to use this to your advantage.
• Note that this is the only way in which Dumpy Doge resembles Mario. Do not attempt to enter the pipes in search of dogecoins. You will die.

Dumpy Doge Hint #4

• Tap the screen only when you want your dog to fly upwards. It’s tempting to pet that gleaming, pixelated fur, but try to resist its allure.
• Going up is much more simple than going down, because there’s no way to control the speed of your descent. If you have a choice, go up.
• With that in mind, be careful of the top of the screen. The sky can kill just as swiftly as the ground.

Dumpy Doge Hint #5

• Try to beat your high score! Dogs are highly competitive gamers and form social hierarchies based on points. You can see if you’re the alpha or omega by tapping “Score” on the start screen.
• If you begin to think you’ll never beat your (former) best friend’s score, try climbing onto your bed and turning around in a circle several times before taking a long nap. This “system reboot” usually helps.

Dumpy Doge Hint #6

• If the unblinking stare of your dog is beginning to feel unnerving, take a break and look at some hilarious doge memes. Laughter is the best medicine!
• Then go back to your game and look at your fat dog. You’re both on the same side. You both hate pipes. Make friends with your pup once more and go get ‘em!

Dumpy Doge Hint #7

• Although the soundtrack for this game is pretty sweet, you can’t turn off the sound effects without turning off the music–and those effects can be discouraging, driving home every life lost for your poor dog.
• We recommend putting on your favorite canine music instead and playing the game that way. Our top picks: Howlin’ Wolf, Temple of the Dog, and “Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow” by Frank Zappa.

It’s a common bit of trivia that the setting of the Pokemon Black & White series, Unova, is based on New York City. But these games did a great job of teaching us things about the city that some natives don’t even know. If you’re from out of town, keep these handy tips in mind the next time you visit so you’re prepared for the true New York experience.

1. It is considered acceptable, if lowbrow, to attack someone with a pigeon.

Via GamesRadar

2. Dancers are a common cause of traffic jams and road closings.

Via PokeBot

3. Even their gyms are constantly under construction.

Via Psypokes

4. Not to mention they freeze over in the winter.

Via Bulbapedia

5. Never trust the charismatic activists who approach you on the street.

Via YouTube

6. There is virtually no police presence, leaving justice in the hands of those who are most adept at training their pets.

Via GiantBomb

7. Central Park is trippy as HELL.

Via Serebii