Usain Bolt is perhaps the person who has gained the most international importance since the word originally spread about Christ and his father, Morgan Freeman. Even of all the different kinds of bolts in the world—whether made from electricity, metal, or overworked Disney animators—none has matched the prestige of the human-fleshy-type bolt that is Usain. He became an instant sensation during the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, where he set the world records for both the 100- and 200-meter sprints. Faster than a bolt of lightning*, Usain Bolt is the first person to hold both records in over 30 years, and the first person ever to win both events at two consecutive Olympics. And he did it all on a strict diet of McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets.
*Some information may be false.
Before he was an Olympic gold medalist, Usain Bolt was already setting records. From his early years as a conveniently named Jamaican child, Bolt was obsessed with sports. He quickly showed an aptitude for sprinting and became the fastest runner in his school. At age 15, he had already reached his current height of 6 feet, 5 inches, and at 21, he broke the world record for the 100-meter sprint for the first time.
Bolt went on to beat his own record at the 2008 Beijing Olympics with a time of 9.69 seconds, and again at the 2012 London Olympics with a time of 9.63 seconds, which is still the current Olympic record. During the 2009 Berlin World Championships, he set a world record of 9.58 seconds, which is still the current time to beat.
And when he’s not running, he’s usually celebrating—or teaching other people how to. He started the trend known as “Bolting” or “To Di World,” a victory pose that has become widespread among mountain-climbers and college sororities. It’s the perfect way to celebrate an achievement of any scope, from setting a new world record to downing a shot of Jägermeister.
It seems, however, that being the fastest man alive can get tiresome after a while, especially when only racing against other sprinters—Bolt has lately been branching out by testing his skills against buses, English royalty, and an awkwardly dressed Jimmy Fallon.
So, what’s next for Usain Bolt? If you ask me, I’d say more Chicken Nuggets, more record-breaking runs, and more pictures of him with disturbingly skinny arms.
