We’re close to the two-week anniversary of Flappy Bird’s removal from the App Store, and it doesn’t look like the fad is dying down. If anything, the amount of Flappy Bird clones is increasing exponentially every day as more jaded developers attempt to cash in on the world’s most frustratingly addictive game. Yes, Flappy Bird’s loathsome legacy will outlive us all. Let that sink in for a second.
Part of this Flappy Boom is due to the new Flappy Jam on itch.io, a site where indie game developers can easily host their creations to distribute to the masses. It’s a powerful tool, and we hate to see it being used for evil in this way. On the Flappy Jam page, you’ll find hundreds of Flappy Bird clones–the count was close to 450 as of this morning–ranging from straight-up ports of the original game for console emulators to games with punny, feces-centric titles (Crappy Bird is only the beginning). If you like memes, both Doge and Nyan Cat versions are available in multiple flavors, along with the unstoppable Rage Faces. But when you make several hundred games, you’re bound to find a few that are actually fun, even if it’s the kind of fun that makes you want to beat yourself around the face and neck with a hammer. Here are nine of the best efforts we’ve seen so far.
Type Type Evolution
Darwin and Nintendo were right! Evolution is real, and it’s controlled by arbitrarily leveling up an animal. Tap Tap Evolution presents you with a single cell, which you’ll help to evolve by typing the letters in pink bubbles as they float across the multicolored line. Type them as they cross the green for extra points. As your cell evolves, the line gets smaller. Will you transcend your animal instincts or sink back into the primordial ooze? Keyboarding has never been so vaguely educational.
Attack on Kiten
Anime nerds rejoice: your love of kittens and the horrifying Attack on Titan series have collided at last. This is a remarkably difficult Flappy reskin in which your tiny scout cat must leap through the paws of oncoming Kitens. We didn’t think AoT could possibly contain more casualties. We were wrong.
Escape from Dragon Temple
Guide an absolutely adorable dragon through the fluted pillars to escape its temple. How did it get there? Why is it trying to escape? Keep an eye on the mosaics in the background and you might find the answer. Or not. We can’t get past the first three. Arrrrrrrrrgh.
Odd Flappy
If you loved Flappy Bird but found it disappointingly unlike an ether binge with Hunter S. Thompson, have we got the game for you. Guide a gas mask-wearing wasp through a maze of disembodied heads and slanted(!) bottles and try to last as long as the eerie ambient music track.
I Have No Bird And I Must Flap
This game understands the truly horrific potential of the Flappy Bird madness. In the future, supercomputer Addictive Mechanics (AM) has destroyed every human on the planet except you. You must play Flappy Bird with a decrepit spaceship while AM shoots lasers at you from an undisclosed location. Every time you die, AM will resurrect you for another run. Abandon all hope, ye who play here. (Also, it has a neat glide command that adds nuance.)
Flappy Text Adventure
While playing Flappy Bird, have you ever mused to yourself “Gee, this game would be lots better if it had more math”? If so, congratulations on being the galaxy’s biggest nerd. Your prize is a game in which you will need to type “flap” in sequence to line yourself up along unseen X and Y axes so as to guide a bird–pictured in ASCII form above–through the pipes. Even getting a score of 1 is impressive.
The Birdman of Alcatraz
We’ll be honest–this only made the list because The Birdman of Alcatraz is a great movie. Go watch it. Burt Lancaster is tremendous. We’ll wait.
Tetribird
This time, the bird goes wherever it wants. You’ll have to make a gap to suit its needs. Line up the cursor with the bird’s trajectory and hit space to make a hole. Fast-paced and grueling, but a fun twist on the formula.
Kick Bot
Now that’s what we’re talking about! This robot has a lot of climbing to do, and there are tons of spikes and lasers that want to stop its ascent. Well, those inanimate objects have yet to meet the furious jumping skills of KickBot! Yeah, that’s it, random scientist. Drink it in. This robot is going places.
Keep checking the Flappy Jam for new games, leave a comment below with your favorites, and remember–support indie developers. They debase themselves like this for your enjoyment. And if you decide to get in on the Jam yourself, tell us what you made!
Featured image from Odd Flappy via itch.io
