One more second and these two could have been launched into space
Yeah, this could have gone very wrong. But honestly, I’d still rather take my chances on this than the tea cups. Because yes, a potential maybe chance death still better than the nausating feeling I get from that hellish ride.
Let me tell you, bungee jumps and looping coasters are fun thrill rides and all. But the realest adreniline rush comes from trying to keep your vomit in during a non-stop spinning ride of death.
I’m quite an avid BJJ and grappling fan, so I absolutely love this. The girl commenting in the background, not so much.
If you don’t know what Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is; just think of it as a mix of judo, wrestling, and submission grappling. Think chokes, armbars, heel hooks, leg locks, and so on.
The girl in the video obviously knows what she’s doing, transitioning from triangle chokes to armbars with ease. The dudes getting obliterated obviously know nothing. This of course brings up that old cliche of never judging a book by its cover. If you do, you may end up passed out in some park with everyone laughing at you.
‘The body was about two metres long though it was difficult to judge, and went into a tail of about three to five metres. The creature was hairy, with some paws or feet, and no fins. We were very confused that everything was covered with hairs.’
‘At first glance we saw what looked like the muzzle of a dolphin. But after a closer look we saw it had big jaws of approximately 70 centimetres with rotten teeth.’
But there was new intrigue today after a local resident gave a graphic account of the remains, suggesting a bony protrusion from its underside could be paws or feet, and adding that it had no fins. This witness also suggested it was much longer than initial reports.
Most curious of all was the fact it also had fur on its tail and was unlike anything ever seen in Russia.
The Siberian Times followed up by saying that scientists suggested that it may be anything from a Ganges River dolphin or Giant Beaked Whale. But I’m not buying it. After all this is Russia we’re talking about. Who the hell knows what type of experiments Putin is behind. My guess is that this super man-eating dolphin got loose from the labs and eventually had to be put down by the entire Russian army before they were exposed.
A mysterious sea creature with fur washed up on the shore in the far east. No one has identified what it is yet pic.twitter.com/5yUSxbj3kP
Ok, so let’s break down this insane story for you:
Buzzfeed News: A Texas man who was warned not to swim in a river due to an alligator sighting, but jumped in anyway, was attacked and killed early Friday near the Louisiana border, police told BuzzFeed News.
Tommie Woodward, 28, was at an outdoor bar at a marina in Orange, Texas, around 2:30 a.m. local time when he defied a sign warning of alligators and entered the bayou waters.
Employees at the marina had erected the sign in recent days after spotting a “pretty damn big” 11-foot alligator in the area, Orange County Police Captain Robert Enmon told BuzzFeed News.
A woman with Woodward warned him not to enter the water because of the risk, prompting him to reply “Fuck that alligator,” Enmon said.
Just before he jumped in, the woman spotted the gator, Enmon said. Woodward was attacked almost immediately.
“It was pretty much immediate,” Enmon told BuzzFeed News. “He had puncture marks on his upper right shoulder, and his left arm and elbow received severe damage. The alligator pulled him down and he came back up yelling.”
Obviously, this is extremely sad. However, it should also serve as an important lesson for everyone.
Alligators. Sharks. Snakes. Bees. Hell, even squirrels. Don’t mess with nature. Especially if you’re drunk. You are not Bear Grylls and you are not the second coming of Steve Irwin.
On the other hand, “Fuck that Alligator” isn’t the worst last words one could say. I mean, he probably shouldn’t have followed through with his insult. A simple wave of the middle finger would have gotten the point across just fine, I think.
I think it’s pretty clear that this Mastiff has no allegiance to any canine. He literally ratted out his dog. He didn’t even care that he was ratting him out. No remorse at all. I mean, he’s wagging his damn tail!
On the flip side, this poor French Bulldog just had his heart ripped out by his best friend and got shamed in front of 2 million YouTube viewers. This Frenchie needs to make Michael Corleone and give his “friend” the Fredo treatment.
And I’m not just talking about Sharknado and Shark Week. I’m talking about the asshole sharks that are taking over the beaches and ripping people apart. It seems like every week I’m reading a new terrifying story about these monsters.
“Hammerheads found near shore of New Jersey beach”
“Sharks attack children in Carolinas”
“Great Whites found close to Florida beaches”
“New breed of sharks who can shoot guns found everywhere”
Yeah, so the last one I made up. But it won’t be long before we start seeing them. These dudes on their paddle boards are either really dumb or brave. I haven’t decided yet. However, unlike these dudes, I’m throwing in the white flag. Congrats sharks, you’ve won the Summer. The beaches are yours.
It’s no secret that, as men, we like to blow stuff up. Destruction is fun. Always will be.
However, I’m pretty sure we do not and should not enjoy blowing ourselves up. I’m not sure what exactly this guy was expecting results-wise. He had to have lost a bet, right? Oh well. Congrats one the second butthole, man.
Also, gotta love his friends just laughing at him. Not even asking if he’s ok. Male friendship 100%.